Hi! Didn't think you would hear from me again huh? Baby John is doing great and already 13 pounds..Wow! He is about 2.5 months and so cute and sweet. Carlos and Maria tell me how they have fallen in love with him and everyone else has that comes to visit. I receive pictures and videos often and absolutely love receiving them.
Maria is due any day but 'little brother' seems pretty content in there for now. I am so excited for them and their journey into this next chapter of their life.
Do I think about doing surrogacy again?.............hmmm...... Its always in the back of my mind ;)
Happy Holidays
The Babysitter.....off duty ;)
Lilypie Maternity tickers
Friday, December 21, 2012
Saturday, November 3, 2012
To my fellow Surrogates....(and anyone that cares to read this)
As you know from reading my blog this is the second surrogacy I have done and with those surrogacies I have dealt with the highs and the lows. I really try not to write about the lows but I really feel this is one that needs to be brought up.
I want to talk about those crazy hormones that we deal with. We deal with them when we give ourselves the medications to get our body ready for pregnancy, we deal with them while we are pregnant and we deal with them after we have the baby. The hormones you deal with while taking the medications and while pregnant are not fun but there is a pregnancy or upcoming pregnancy to be happy about. The hormones you deal with after having the baby are the ones I want to talk about.
When I did my first surrogacy a few days after having the baby I was a wreck, (no holding back, I'm throwing it all out there). I cried, felt gloomy, didn't want to be alone and moped around. Now let me just say those emotions are not me at all. I hardly cry, or show extreme emotion (ask my friend who calls me the ice queen), I am laid back, a generally happy person. So these extreme emotions threw me for a loop. I thought I was a terrible surrogate for feeling this way. After a day of feeling like this I called another surrogate friend who had had a surrogate baby a few weeks before me and broke down and told her "I am a terrible surrogate" and you know what she told me "That happened to me too"!And so I replied with a "What the heck, why is no one telling us that we would/could go through this". After hearing from her and another surrogate I contacted, I realized it happens quite often and IT WAS TOTALLY NORMAL!
During this crazy time for me I questioned myself; Was I sad the baby was going home with the parents-NO, was I sad I didn't have a baby-NO, what I WAS sad about was the feeling that the surrogacy was over. For months (10+) your life is consumed with the surrogacy process and being pregnant. You have people ask about your story, you have the IPs caring about you and your pregnancy, you have a new group of surrogate friends among all the other joys of being pregnant. And then bam you have the baby and it feels like all of that is over. I was lucky enough to have IPs who told me " It is not over but only the beginning for all of us". To this day I carry those words with me for both of my surrogacies.
So to all you Surrogates I want to say IT IS COMPLETELY NORMAL to have your hormones be out of whack after having the baby. And just because they are, does NOT mean you wanted to have the baby. What really helped me was talking to another surrogate while I was feeling down, sometimes friends that have never been surrogates just do not understand.
Yes, these darn hormones snuck up on me again after this last surrogacy, but I had surrogate friends who were there for me and listened to me and actually got to hear me cry ;)
These whacky hormones don't last for a long time, and before you know it you will be back to your old self, I promise!
To anyone who knows me and is reading this....I am here for you if you ever need to talk. :)
I want to talk about those crazy hormones that we deal with. We deal with them when we give ourselves the medications to get our body ready for pregnancy, we deal with them while we are pregnant and we deal with them after we have the baby. The hormones you deal with while taking the medications and while pregnant are not fun but there is a pregnancy or upcoming pregnancy to be happy about. The hormones you deal with after having the baby are the ones I want to talk about.
When I did my first surrogacy a few days after having the baby I was a wreck, (no holding back, I'm throwing it all out there). I cried, felt gloomy, didn't want to be alone and moped around. Now let me just say those emotions are not me at all. I hardly cry, or show extreme emotion (ask my friend who calls me the ice queen), I am laid back, a generally happy person. So these extreme emotions threw me for a loop. I thought I was a terrible surrogate for feeling this way. After a day of feeling like this I called another surrogate friend who had had a surrogate baby a few weeks before me and broke down and told her "I am a terrible surrogate" and you know what she told me "That happened to me too"!And so I replied with a "What the heck, why is no one telling us that we would/could go through this". After hearing from her and another surrogate I contacted, I realized it happens quite often and IT WAS TOTALLY NORMAL!
During this crazy time for me I questioned myself; Was I sad the baby was going home with the parents-NO, was I sad I didn't have a baby-NO, what I WAS sad about was the feeling that the surrogacy was over. For months (10+) your life is consumed with the surrogacy process and being pregnant. You have people ask about your story, you have the IPs caring about you and your pregnancy, you have a new group of surrogate friends among all the other joys of being pregnant. And then bam you have the baby and it feels like all of that is over. I was lucky enough to have IPs who told me " It is not over but only the beginning for all of us". To this day I carry those words with me for both of my surrogacies.
So to all you Surrogates I want to say IT IS COMPLETELY NORMAL to have your hormones be out of whack after having the baby. And just because they are, does NOT mean you wanted to have the baby. What really helped me was talking to another surrogate while I was feeling down, sometimes friends that have never been surrogates just do not understand.
Yes, these darn hormones snuck up on me again after this last surrogacy, but I had surrogate friends who were there for me and listened to me and actually got to hear me cry ;)
These whacky hormones don't last for a long time, and before you know it you will be back to your old self, I promise!
To anyone who knows me and is reading this....I am here for you if you ever need to talk. :)
Pictures of the little one...
Yay, I got the go ahead to post a few pictures of the baby. Lets call the baby 'John' (not his real name due to privacy). I will post a few pictures with this blog.
I had a great few weeks spending time with Carlos, Maria and John. I really got a chance to get to know them and see how they are as parents. They are very loving, caring, attentive and devoted parents! Phew... just kidding.. I had a feeling they would be. I feel a bonus to this surrogacy is that I really enjoyed them and would choose them as friends if we lived closer. We talk about me visiting there someday soon, especially to see baby #2 ... I really hope it can happen!
I had a great few weeks spending time with Carlos, Maria and John. I really got a chance to get to know them and see how they are as parents. They are very loving, caring, attentive and devoted parents! Phew... just kidding.. I had a feeling they would be. I feel a bonus to this surrogacy is that I really enjoyed them and would choose them as friends if we lived closer. We talk about me visiting there someday soon, especially to see baby #2 ... I really hope it can happen!
Wednesday, October 17, 2012
Welcome to the World Little One
Carlos and Maria's son was born October 7th at 12:14am weighing 8lbs 6oz.
Now to tell you how he came into this world.
I was scheduled to be induced on October 6th at 9am due to some high blood pressure spikes here and there (which always turned out to be fine once I relaxed a bit). So we go into Labor and Delivery at 9:15, oops a tad late (we had a valid reason though, I promise). The OB doctor checks to see if I have dilated (I was a 3) and other things and then he decides it would not be beneficial for us to induce. He was willing to but as soon as I heard the word possible c-section I asked to speak with Carlos and Maria about waiting till the baby decided it was time. They both agreed that we should do what was best for the baby and I and avoid a c-section if at all possible. After letting the doctor know we were going to wait he offered to scrape my cervix (sounds bad and yes it feels horrible as well) in the meantime to see if that would bring labor on.
As soon as he scraped my cervix I knew something was changing in my body. I had to sit down for a bit in the waiting room just to relax a bit before we headed out. I told Maria and Carlos that my body already felt different and maybe we could stay close to the hospital instead of going home 'just in case'. We decided to walk around Balboa Park for a bit and see if I could get the contractions going. As we were walking around I kept feeling extreme pain down the back of my legs (sciatica) which I would get only occasionally, but now I was feeling it every few minutes. To me this meant the little guy was moving down the birth canal and putting even more pressure on my sciatic nerve. So I knew we were getting somewhere with this labor. I was also feeling more contractions and they were strong but not strong enough to stop me in my tracks. So we kept walking and walking aaaaaannnddd walking. Till Maria suggested maybe we go back to the hospital and walk there just to be closer ( I guess she could see the pain was getting worse).
We got to the hospital and we sat for a few minutes and I swear my contractions eased up as well as the pain down the back of my legs. Hmmm now what?! Am I in labor or not?! So we eat lunch and walk more and more (even did some stairs). Finally after walking and looking down to see how swollen my feet were we come up with a plan. I will go back in to Labor and Delivery to get checked and if they say I have not dilated anymore we will go home but if they say things are progressing I would stay and walk more or be admitted.
My entourage (Carlos, Maria, Maria's sister, my friends Val, and Cora and my oldest daughter all go back up to Labor and Delivery. The OB smiles as we come back because he knew there was a good chance he would see me back that day. He checked me again and said I was at a 5!! He turns to us and says "So do you want to have a baby today?"
One of my first questions was " at what point can I have an epidural?" The wonderful doctor said "whenever you would like".. well all right lets get this party started!
The birth was wonderful, the pain was a distant thought almost the whole time except for an hour when the epidural wore off (I won't even go into how that felt). Carlos and Maria were there the whole time, it was a happy atmosphere the whole time (okay except for that hour), we were laughing and waiting and my daughter was taking this all in with pictures ( I want to get permission before I post any). The labor was about 8 hours long, not too bad when you really don't feel a thing ;) When it was time to push Carlos and Maria were by my head, Val on my left and my daughter on my right. 4 pushes and he was just about here, a couple little ones more and he entered this world and placed on my chest.
He was perfect, an apgar of 8-9. His parents were so happy and thrilled, I wish I could show you the pictures of their reaction upon first seeing him. He is such a cute, easy going baby. He did wonderfully in the hospital and was released 24 hours later when I was released.
The parents are still here and we see each other often, which I am so happy about. This journey for me is not all about having someones baby but also about the relationship that grows during the process. I think the hardest part is having to say goodbye to these people I now consider family/close friends. Hopefully it will not be a goodbye but an 'until next time'!
Now to tell you how he came into this world.
I was scheduled to be induced on October 6th at 9am due to some high blood pressure spikes here and there (which always turned out to be fine once I relaxed a bit). So we go into Labor and Delivery at 9:15, oops a tad late (we had a valid reason though, I promise). The OB doctor checks to see if I have dilated (I was a 3) and other things and then he decides it would not be beneficial for us to induce. He was willing to but as soon as I heard the word possible c-section I asked to speak with Carlos and Maria about waiting till the baby decided it was time. They both agreed that we should do what was best for the baby and I and avoid a c-section if at all possible. After letting the doctor know we were going to wait he offered to scrape my cervix (sounds bad and yes it feels horrible as well) in the meantime to see if that would bring labor on.
As soon as he scraped my cervix I knew something was changing in my body. I had to sit down for a bit in the waiting room just to relax a bit before we headed out. I told Maria and Carlos that my body already felt different and maybe we could stay close to the hospital instead of going home 'just in case'. We decided to walk around Balboa Park for a bit and see if I could get the contractions going. As we were walking around I kept feeling extreme pain down the back of my legs (sciatica) which I would get only occasionally, but now I was feeling it every few minutes. To me this meant the little guy was moving down the birth canal and putting even more pressure on my sciatic nerve. So I knew we were getting somewhere with this labor. I was also feeling more contractions and they were strong but not strong enough to stop me in my tracks. So we kept walking and walking aaaaaannnddd walking. Till Maria suggested maybe we go back to the hospital and walk there just to be closer ( I guess she could see the pain was getting worse).
We got to the hospital and we sat for a few minutes and I swear my contractions eased up as well as the pain down the back of my legs. Hmmm now what?! Am I in labor or not?! So we eat lunch and walk more and more (even did some stairs). Finally after walking and looking down to see how swollen my feet were we come up with a plan. I will go back in to Labor and Delivery to get checked and if they say I have not dilated anymore we will go home but if they say things are progressing I would stay and walk more or be admitted.
My entourage (Carlos, Maria, Maria's sister, my friends Val, and Cora and my oldest daughter all go back up to Labor and Delivery. The OB smiles as we come back because he knew there was a good chance he would see me back that day. He checked me again and said I was at a 5!! He turns to us and says "So do you want to have a baby today?"
One of my first questions was " at what point can I have an epidural?" The wonderful doctor said "whenever you would like".. well all right lets get this party started!
The birth was wonderful, the pain was a distant thought almost the whole time except for an hour when the epidural wore off (I won't even go into how that felt). Carlos and Maria were there the whole time, it was a happy atmosphere the whole time (okay except for that hour), we were laughing and waiting and my daughter was taking this all in with pictures ( I want to get permission before I post any). The labor was about 8 hours long, not too bad when you really don't feel a thing ;) When it was time to push Carlos and Maria were by my head, Val on my left and my daughter on my right. 4 pushes and he was just about here, a couple little ones more and he entered this world and placed on my chest.
He was perfect, an apgar of 8-9. His parents were so happy and thrilled, I wish I could show you the pictures of their reaction upon first seeing him. He is such a cute, easy going baby. He did wonderfully in the hospital and was released 24 hours later when I was released.
The parents are still here and we see each other often, which I am so happy about. This journey for me is not all about having someones baby but also about the relationship that grows during the process. I think the hardest part is having to say goodbye to these people I now consider family/close friends. Hopefully it will not be a goodbye but an 'until next time'!
Thursday, October 4, 2012
38 weeks and 6 days
Only 2 more days till this little one arrives, unless he comes sooner! I am so excited for Maria and Carlos to become a mommy and daddy!!
Tuesday, October 2, 2012
Still waiting for the little guy!
Well his parents are here, they are all unpacked and ready, have the car seat in the car and are almost over the jet lag......now we wait for him to make his appearance!
I still feel contractions here and there but nothing yet that says "this is it, quick get in the car"!
But the good news is if he doesn't come this week, Saturday they will induce me. Everything looks good enough for them to... So Saturday at 9am they are walking through the door as a couple and will leave as a family!!
I still feel contractions here and there but nothing yet that says "this is it, quick get in the car"!
But the good news is if he doesn't come this week, Saturday they will induce me. Everything looks good enough for them to... So Saturday at 9am they are walking through the door as a couple and will leave as a family!!
Thursday, September 27, 2012
He tried to make another attempt
Yesterday I thought might be the day! But it luckily was not. I had been having contractions all day, I finally decided to go into the labor and delivery at the hospital to get checked before I drove the hour ride home (trying to avoid having a baby in the car experience)! I was having contractions 3 minutes apart and my cervix was at a 3 ( up from a 1 last week). They will admit you when your cervix is at a 4 so they suggested I walk for 2 hours and come back to be checked. So I walked and walked, did wonders for my sciatic pain (sarc). I had already let Carlos and Maria know what was happening and they decided it was best to get on a plane now instead of wait and possibly miss his birth. I let them know I might not have him today, it all depended on my cervix. But they felt it was best to come early and be here then miss his birth! So after walking I go get rechecked and nothing! No change to my cervix at all! Aggghhhh
Can I just say here and now trying to figure out when a baby is coming is THE hardest thing to figure out. So I am sent home. At this point Carlos and Maria are on their way and I am hoping we won't have to wait two weeks for him to be born, but I have no control over this ( mantra I repeat to myself)!
So today as I write this I am barely moving around, in fear he will play a trick on us and come only hours before his parents arrive. Once they are here tonight I can walk/ run/ dance/do hip hop (ok that's just a dream :)
I will keep you all updated,
The babysitter
Can I just say here and now trying to figure out when a baby is coming is THE hardest thing to figure out. So I am sent home. At this point Carlos and Maria are on their way and I am hoping we won't have to wait two weeks for him to be born, but I have no control over this ( mantra I repeat to myself)!
So today as I write this I am barely moving around, in fear he will play a trick on us and come only hours before his parents arrive. Once they are here tonight I can walk/ run/ dance/do hip hop (ok that's just a dream :)
I will keep you all updated,
The babysitter
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