Shots... Shots.. Shots...

Guess what? (drum roll please) I got 'the' call this week that the egg donor passed all her medical and genetic testing that they were waiting on! Wooooo Hoooooo! Let me explain about the egg donor process. Once an egg donor is matched to an IP (Intended Parent/s) they must go through a psych screening, genetic testing, medical testing which includes blood work and a lovely uterine check! Once she passes all that then a contract must be drawn up and signed by both parties, and once all that is done... she is ready to begin the process.
  So what happened with us a few weeks ago was, the doctor felt this donor was going to pass and suggested my IPs start getting their contracts going so if and when she passed they could begin the process with their surrogate immediately (me me me me). So they did all that and once the okay was given I received a call from the nurse at the IVF clinic. Timeline of this fast process was; Tuesday I got the call that the donor passed, Thursday morning I got the call from the nurse telling me the timeline for everything, Friday afternoon ALL medications, needles, syringes were delivered to me and LAST NIGHT I gave myself the first of the injections!! Crazy right! I can not believe how fast this has begun. And the most exciting news of all is they are hoping for a JANUARY 23rd transfer date!!! Transfer meaning... that is when they are hoping to implant the 5 day old embryo into my uterus!! Exciting for sure!
   So for the next few weeks I will be injecting Lupron into my stomach...ouch you say? Oh no this one is the easy one... wait till I tell you about the hip ones ;) The needle for these shots are tiny, as big as a diabetic needle which is very small. Easy Peasy....Anyway lupron is given to a surrogate to prevent a premature hormone surge which would cause release of eggs. I will be doing these nightly injections till January 4th when I take a blood test to see where my hormone levels are. If they are where they are supposed to be then I will start another hormone injection (I will save that fun shot for the next blog)
  Now, just because I have been given the go ahead to start taking all these hormones, etc it does not mean this is a for sure thing. January 9th they will be checking the donors progress with her egg stimulation and depending where she is with that, they will continue as planned or shorten or lengthen the process or even stop the process if she is not stimulating any eggs at all.
  We are all so excited to begin. Maria and Carlos are worried this is going interrupt or bother our Christmas.. Ehhh whats a shot in the tummy here and there ;) They are so sweet worrying about me.
  Happy Holidays to all and to all a good night (just kidding its only 10:00am)!

Suprise! I am still here.

I know, I know....I have not written anything in awhile. It is not for lack of time on my part but more for lack of what to say. Sadly we are all in limbo waiting. Waiting for a donor that will pass all of the tests necessary to become part of this trio (surrogate, IP's and donor).  I do not want to jinx my IP's, but I will say we are hopeful to start up very soon. And I promise you I will post away! I am extremely thankful my job keeps me busy and allows me to NOT hyper focus on the waiting. While I wait I share in the excitement with my fellow surrogates from the agency about their journeys. Yes we are a crazy bunch that get excited when it is time to do the shots part of the process. Wait, did I include myself in that statement?  Yes we  actually do get excited about the shots because that means it is the beginning of the journey! Hopefully I will have some good news to share with you soon! Keeping my fingers crossed that my IPs don't have to wait too much longer to start their dream.

One month later......

Crazy how time flies. Almost one month later, since my last post. Yes, we are still waiting, but with reason now.
    I find this hard to post without seeming like I know what my IP's are going through. I definitely do not. I imagine they are frustrated, and disappointed thus far. They spent months looking for an egg donor they could use that matched a certain criteria they had. I know if it was me, I too would be particular as well. They finally found someone, really looked at her history, spoke with her and were excited to move ahead with her. As far as I understand she did not show to her first few appointments and when she did show to one, she was very apologetic but did not offer much reason. I do realize how scary this process can be for a beginner, BUT don't bother signing up and offering a dream without fully understanding what you are getting into. At this point my IP's stated they were already worried if she did pass the psychological exam she might be flaky to the key appointments.  So with hesitation they crossed their fingers and waited to hear what happened next. Some might consider this a set back, I consider it a good sign...She did not pass her psychological evaluation. I consider it a good sign because now my IP's do not have to worry about if she will show up when she is supposed to or if she will take the required medications as prescribed, BUT most of all their most precious child/ren that they want out of this won't have certain characteristics that this donor was portraying and/or hiding! I am not sure how my IP's feel about this situation, I personally feel I do not know them well enough to talk about how this is making them feel (maybe one day we will get there).  At this point I do not know what to say but 'I am sorry'.
    They will continue looking for this girl with characteristics they would want in their own child. I imagine this is not easy, and I hope this will be the only bump in their road on their journey to become a family.
   

So we wait....

So now that I know who I am matched with, the waiting game begins. This part feels like a snails pace, waiting for legal contracts to be drawn up and signed, psychologist appt.,waiting, health screening, more waiting... and that is where I am now.. Waiting ;)

Some interesting or funny parts of this process so far;
     I get the legal contract and take a good look at it. Pretty much it tells me 10 different ways how this is not my baby nor will it ever be. Its amazing they (legal people) don't think I grasped that after the first time or the second... I should add here, that this is a standard legal contract that is used often and is not made up case per case.  So I am glad they are not suggesting I am dense and needed to read it 10 different ways to make sure it is understood! Got it....not my child.
  The legal contract states I will refrain from dying my hair in the first trimester....WHAT?? Did they not see my age on the contract and realize dying my hair has gone past 'just for decoration' but is now a necessity due to gray hair!!!
   Also manicures and pedicures must be done with a mask on during the pregnancy. So I'm envisioning my fellow mani/pedi goers staring at me because they are wondering what contagious disease I have, and how they can get the chair furthest from me! Good times....
   Even though I joke about all this, I know there are reasons for these things and because I don't want to in any way harm someone else's baby I will comply...gray hair and all
  How it all works is; once you are matched you need to do a psychological screening, you are sent the legal contract to review and then a medical screening appt is made to check for drug use,std's, diseases and they also check your uterus.
    So here I am now, that part is all done. I am waiting to be told by the IVF doctor we are ready to go. He needs to make sure that my cycle will be in sync with the egg retrieval date. (maybe TMI for some, be warned it might get worse). So even though I am so excited to begin I am dreading those shots. But I have to say my excitement is winning!
  So until we begin the IP's and myself talk via skype and email and get to know each other more. Come to find out my highly recommended movie 'Bridesmaids' was a hit with Maria... not so much with Carlos though (can't imagine why not ;)
  





  

The Meeting

While I waited for the following weekend to arrive, MFS (Modern Family Surrogacy~agency) was able to send me their profile, which is information about them and some of their responses to questions regarding having a child. This profile gives you a chance to 'get to know them' before you meet up with them. Also included were pictures of them and their families. I have to state here that they both are a very nice looking couple!
     I forgot to add that this couple had asked to speak to another surrogate at the same time they asked to speak with me. Kind of a weird feeling to know they are 'choosing' between you or someone else. But I have to remember if I were in their shoes I too would do the same.
     Finally the weekend arrives and I make my trek into Hollywood (always fun for the people watching opportunities). I arrive at the meeting place and find the other surrogates the agency has brought to meet other IP's and the couple I was to meet. Nervous level is pretty high at this point!
      The IP's arrive and we 'offically' meet. The agency ladies recommend we go off for an hour or so and just talk. We head to a local Starbucks and they ask if I would like any coffee. I say yes please, just a regular coffee. I forgot that European coffee drinkers are quite different than we are.... so when Carlos asks do I put anything in it, I cringe because I know telling him I like it sweet and creamy is like saying "dump a pound of sugar in and top it off with heavy cream"! Since I don't want to freak them out from the start I opt for 'just a few sugars please'.
     We sit down and talk for quite some time and slowly I start to see their personalities emerge. Maria is very sweet, while Carlos is very funny(as I catch up with the blog I will do a better job at describing their personalities).  Oh I should probably add how excited I am that they both speak English fluently! We end up talking for way more then the suggested hour and head back to the meeting spot.
     Cora takes them aside and talks with them for a little while. She then comes and finds me and asks how it went. I told her I really like them and they are very nice. My 'feelings' say I like them and could see myself helping them have a baby and enjoying our friendship at the same time. She tells me they 'loved me' and would really like for me to be their surrogate! So it's decided...we're having a baby ;)

My New Intended Parents

Well here we go ready or not..... 
   Paperwork all signed I sat back and waited for Modern Family to find me the 'right IPs'. Cora and Maria kept telling me they were going to find me the 'perfect' Intended Parents. They knew all about my fears so I trusted them and I knew they knew me as a person and would do their best. Just so you know I do have a say in who I do this with, so I could easily say no (well its not thaaaat easy...remember my feeling that I would carry every ones baby!!) I asked them to find IP's that were looking for a surrogate that they could eventually have a friendship with. My hopes were to not just have a baby for someone and walk away but to find IP's that I would enjoy as people and because of  their personalities and what we were going through together....a friendship!
   It was a lazy Saturday and I was home with my kids when I received a call from Cora asking if I could talk to some IP's in a little while!...... WHAT? Did she just say a little while? Doesn't she realize I need to mentally prepare myself. Holly cow.. I asked her what gives with the 5 minute prep time (not really, but it felt like that). She said her and Maria were in Los Angeles meeting with a few Intended Parents that had flown in from Spain and one of the couples were interested in speaking with me. EEEeeeeeekkkk (excited nervous squeal).  I hurriedly told my kids that I was going to be on an important phone call and not to interrupt unless a limb was falling off (directed more to my youngest daughter who likes to mime to me while I am on the phone).
      'A little while' later we were talking.  You could tell we were all nervous, which is totally natural right? I mean we are talking about having a baby here with complete strangers (wait till we have to talk about female body parts and cycles.. that's when it gets interesting!) They sounded very nice and I tried to make it easy for them because I had done this one time before. I also cut to the chase and said "I just want to answer a question that every one of my friends and strangers ask me, Do I ever feel like I want to keep the baby or isn't it hard to give it up" I told them that right from the beginning it is ALWAYS their baby this or their baby that and the joy I get from sharing what THEIR baby is doing makes it all worthwhile. They seemed like really nice people, very nervous but very nice. I only knew facts about them at this point; their names were Carlos and Maria, they were from Mataro/Catalonia Spain and family was very important to them. Because of privacy, I do not want to go into too much details about them. But from our short chat I liked them. We hung up with the knowledge we would talk or meet again. I called Cora and said they seemed very nice, and she said she felt the same way about them. She said they seemed perfect for me and they were looking for the same things I was. She also shared they took my profile and other surrogates profiles and separately Carlos and Maria made 1st choices, 2nd, and 3rd. They both had picked me as their first choices!! Destiny~maybe!
     As with the phone call, the meeting was set up just as fast. At this point I understood why it was happening so fast. They came here from Spain for one week to set up all of this; meet with IVF doctors, lawyers, Surrogacy agencies, and surrogates (if possible). We planned to meet the following weekend in Los Angeles. 7 days of nervous anticipation! I'm not going to lie, this is one of the best parts about being a surrogate~finding and meeting the people you might have a baby for. Yes it is VERY nerve wracking but also very exciting. And I would like to add  how hard it is from one phone call or even a meeting if you will like them or enjoy doing this with them. As I was told by Cora and Maria "go with your feelings". Oh those things~ feelings, which were having me believe I could or should have any ones baby a few months ago!! Not so easy!

I am ready to begin....I think...

I have much to catch you up on since I am part way through the beginning of the process already!
    
     Knowing I wanted to do it again, I had to decide on a new agency. It just so happened that the girls who I liked the most from the agency and offered the most support were leaving to open their own agency. We had a chance to talk openly about what I felt was missing from the last agency and what  compelled me to look for a new agency. A couple months later Cora and Maria's agency was up and running; Modern Family Surrogacy was born.  It was a given that they would be who I went with, I liked them as individuals as well as what they believed in.
    Even though I was ready to do this so soon after my last delivery, I had to wait awhile for my body to get back to normal (wait..is that even possible). Once some months had passed and my delusions that I could carry every ones baby passed (delusional high from having another persons baby I guess?!), I was nervous and scared again, but for different reasons this time. I was scared that I would not have the same wonderful experience again. I wondered if I was crazy for wanting to have a baby so soon after just having one and the fact that I am a tad bit (just a tad ;) ) older than many of the surrogates I know. So having had a few more months to work through my nervousness this is what I came up with to solve my insecurities; Try to pick another couple/person that is very different from the first IP's because that in itself will change the dynamics of the experience. As far as having another baby so soon idea... yeah I am still pretty much crazy ;)>, as far as the age thing.....who cares! See I have come far!
   

Why and how I chose to become a surrogate.

    I had always wanted to be a surrogate. I absolutely loved being pregnant with my own two children, I love children and I love to help others. I thought about it often but never really looked into it. A few years back I did have one mother tell me just about the medications and that in itself scared me for a good few years more!
     Six years later...! A very good friend of mine was telling me about her friend that was trying to find a surrogate due to medical problems.  My friend knew I had always desired to be a surrogate but was hesitant to make that first step. She suggested I talk to her friend about surrogacy since she was very informed of how it all works. Eventually we talked for a good while and I felt a sense of 'I could do this'. This friend of a friend went so far as to asking her agency if I would be able to be her surrogate. Unfortunately it was not possible due to my insurance.
     After this up and down roller coaster of emotions (was I going to finally be a surrogate...eeek,.... no I can not with her and her agency....boo), I decided that that was not going to stop me. I did not want to regret never fulfilling this desire of mine. I finally found an agency in my area and began the process with them. I would just like to add here and now for any women out there that read this that 'might' be interested in this....NOT ALL AGENCIES ARE THE SAME!! Do your research, find out from other surrogates what they like and do not like about the agency, just make an informed decision, trust me it makes the journey that much more enjoyable to be with an agency you feel comfortable with.
     I made my dream come true and helped make a couples dream come true December 2010! But this blog is not about my past experience but about my next journey! Yes I am doing it again, I absolutely loved everything about being a surrogate (okay, the girl was right the injections were awful BUT they are only for a short time). So to all my friends and family sit back and enjoy the ride...I hope to give you some insight as to the life of a surrogate!